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The purest of poetry.

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The purest of poetry.

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62 Comments

  1. Thatdamnredneck

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    A portable toilet at a construction site I was working had giant bold letters saying QUIT THROWING YOUR DAMN TOOTHPICKS AWAY! THE CRABS HAVE LEARNED TO POLEVAULT. Still funnest thing I’ve read.

    Reply

  2. Jerryjonesissatan

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    In construction so I’ve seen all the usual shit on the walls. The one that got me was ” If life was a a game of tennis, then you would suck at tennis”. Don’t know why that one got to me, but it did.

    Reply

  3. ndecision

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Now, what do you think the shithouse poet meant by that?

    Reply

  4. seven0feleven

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Here I sit broken-hearted.
    Came to shit,
    but only farted.

    Reply

  5. ctilley_6

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Those who write on shithouse walls
    Roll their shit in little balls;
    Those who read these words of wit
    Eat those little balls of shit.

    Reply

  6. Connectitall

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    The damn scarlet poopernell

    Reply

  7. ZackSpindle

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    This poem is in every industrial yard ever.

    Reply

  8. evnhogan

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Oh shit

    Reply

  9. phuchmileif

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    This is literally older than the internet

    Reply

  10. little_brown_bat

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    (On left wall) Shit house tennis. * Look right
    (On right wall) * Look left

    Reply

  11. twodinosaursfucking

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
    He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
    He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
    To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
    He finally found her and then dropped dead,
    The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread

    Reply

  12. JeanCloudVanDamme

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I capitalize Words for no fucking reason.

    The King of grammar called it Treason.

    Reply

  13. did_you_read_it

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

  14. banlambchop

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    One of the better vandal poetry I’ve read was on a bunk bed at church camp. It went ” Here I lye wide awake, deciding now to masturbate.

    Reply

  15. wileecoyote1969

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I read this limerick on a bathroom wall 40 years ago. I’m pretty sure it’s older than that. Some things actually never do change

    Reply

  16. hitopthemadcatter

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    There once was a man from Peru.
    Who fell asleep in his canoe.
    While dreaming of Venus
    He played with his penis
    And woke in a boat full of goo.

    Reply

  17. asillynert

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Some come to shit and stink, others come to sit and think, but I have come to scratch my balls and read the writing on the walls.

    Reply

  18. hankerinforhank

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I saw this poem written in a stall when I was a CHILD. Wrote it in a few stalls in my time. Crazy to see it here

    Reply

  19. randomleopard

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I still remember a captivating poem I read in an aquatic center’s bathroom when I was 7:

    Here I sit, broken-hearted,
    Tried to shit, but only farted.
    Later on I took a chance,
    Tried to fart, but shit my pants.

    P.S. No idea how to format the lines like a poem on reddit.

    Reply

  20. mattman2005

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Things I hate:
    1.) Vandalism
    2.) Lists
    3.) Irony
    4.) Lists
    5.) Repetition
    F.) Inconsistency
    7.) Mispelled words

    Reply

  21. gravytra1n69

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I sat and I shat
    till my colon was flat,
    And my sphincter was itchy and sore.

    Saw that at a baseball tournament porta-john in the 8th grade and it’s still stuck in my head.

    Reply

  22. Viraljester

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I had to stand at attention for two hours in Sub School because one of the kids in the building drew a dick with an instructor’s face on it. That’s all I can think of when I see shithouse graffiti.

    Reply

  23. YawRats

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

     seems they wanna finger print me and gimmie some years
    They’ll only get one finger while I’m shifting gears

    Reply

  24. omgnousernames

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Am i the only one that read that in the watermelon vine guy’s voice.

    Reply

  25. pizzac00l

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    A man’s a fool,
    and he should know it,
    who thinks himself
    a bathroom poet

    Reply

  26. vivatrump

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    We’re all the shit house poet on the inside

    Reply

  27. [deleted]

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    [deleted]

    Reply

  28. mayagrafix

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Nice

    Reply

  29. jsabrown

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I first read this in a dorm bathroom in 1987. I wonder…

    1) where it originated.
    2) when it originated.
    3) how it propagates.

    Reply

  30. JonREKTem

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I guess it’s better then being a shit house artist. That would be a real pain to clean up. Couldn’t paint over that. I guess you could, but the smell would be awful.

    Reply

  31. Myleshighklub

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    You can’t paint over a glory hole

    Reply

  32. MethuselahsVuvuzela

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    The pooest of poetry.

    Reply

  33. HarokGaming

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    It looks like marker to me.

    Clearly a case of Fake Hues.

    Reply

  34. FlukyFish

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Is that James Joyce?

    Reply

  35. doomsdaymelody

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    u/poem_for_your_sprog IRL

    Reply

  36. LyricalSloth94

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Oh Capitan, my Capitan

    Reply

  37. xanatos451

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

  38. DonnyBraaaasco

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    There was a toilet at my uni that had a chocolate button stuck to the wall, with an arrow pointing to a message that read:

    “Well done for having a poo, now have yourself a nice treat!”

    Reply

  39. meatly

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    One that I’ve seen that I thought was funny was the following:

    “In case of fire, look up!”

    And on the ceiling there was: “Only in case of fire, you idiot!”

    Reply

  40. DavePeesThePool

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    You mean you changed it… TO Latrine?

    Yeah… it used to be shithouse!

    Reply

  41. Lavatories

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Can relate

    Reply

  42. wanderingspider

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Masterful really

    Reply

  43. STD_Voltron

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    What a dick move

    Reply

  44. Bubbles_the_Titan

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    top tier shit posting.

    Reply

  45. praprata

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Holy, how can you be such a boss.

    Reply

  46. just-4-me

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    * Here I sit, broken hearted
    * Tried to shit, but only farted.

    Reply

  47. cptsaveaho2000

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Now rusty what do you think the shit house poet meant by that?

    Reply

  48. PRoseLegend

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    That you sprog?

    Reply

  49. Chadvadr

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I miss the internet 🙁

    Reply

  50. womanthefeckup

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Always been partial to a bit I read in a Vonnegut book. I’m probably getting the phrasing a bit mixed up, but: Those who write on bathroom stalls should mold their shit into little balls, and those who read these lines of wit should eat those little balls of shit.

    Reply

  51. my_name_is_cooler

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I wanna upvote but I feel guilty to upvote immature destructive bullshit like this. What little prick is going into a bathroom with a sharpie to write poems? You’re just an asshole, and you aren’t cool or edgy, you’re just a fucking asshole. Do you go back to your friends and show them pictures of what you just scribbled on a toilet wall? That… sounds really cool.

    Reply

  52. RonPaulBot1128

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    ITT: shitty poetry

    Reply

  53. Odulio

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    He thrusts his fist against the post, and still insists he sees the ghost.

    Reply

  54. mypoopisverygreen

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    It’s from a cartoon TV show called Squid billies. Yes, it’s about squids that live on land, and are in fact hillbillies.

    Reply

  55. Darth_hades

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Eloquent

    Reply

  56. jfq722

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I teared up.

    Reply

  57. Stewie_Bird

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    I used to write something similar around my school.

    They wipe off my ink
    They rub of my pen
    But the shithole poet strikes again

    Reply

  58. MetricCascade29

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Stephen King wrote a short story about such poetry entitled *Everything You Love Will Be Carried Away.* It’s worth the read.

    Reply

  59. theracistjanitor

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Savage

    Reply

  60. spritzgeissmachine

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Haha vandalism so funny

    Reply

  61. [deleted]

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    [deleted]

    Reply

  62. thepartypantser

    September 22, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    This may be poetry, but is not clever, it is not profound, it is not original, and I don’t even think it is funny, unless you think the word “shithouse” in inherently funny, which it might be but…

    It is just graffiti, and I have sympathy for the person who has to go paint over it again.

    I am getting old undoubtably, but damaging other peoples property to make a lame joke is shitty thing to do.

    Reply

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