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Retail workers represent

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Retail workers represent


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38 Comments

  1. cfdemarco

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Item doesn’t scan properly at register

    “Well I guess that means it’s free!!!”

    Reply

  2. DaffodilDuckPickle

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “Yeah, the winning lotto numbers.”

    Reply

  3. ovelanimimerkki

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    I would always let out the most faked and forced laughter. My boss couldn’t complain because he just thought I don’t know how to fake laugh.

    Reply

  4. StupidNCrazy

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Gonna be the buzzkill and say these jokes never really bothered me during my 1.5 years as a cashier. I was more happy customers were talking to me than anything. The majority of customers would just shuffle into place, you’d greet them, and they wouldn’t say a word the entire time you were checking them out. That, or they’d be on the phone the entire time, loudly airing their private business and acting like you’re incredibly rude whenever you interrupt their very important phone call about “*Debra’s son James who dated Britney in high school but now he’s with Beverly and that fucking bitch is cheating on him with Darrel and OMIGOD*”. Everyone always in a big damn hurry, not even registering you as a human being. You may as well be replaced with a robot, half these people wouldn’t even notice. So, smalltalk, even if it’s the same dumb jokes, I was happy to hear it. I was happy to hear *something*.

    Reply

  5. [deleted]

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    [deleted]

    Reply

  6. 1000centristskulls

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Naturally the people who crack these stupid jokes are the same ones who say they can’t figure out the self-checkout machines.

    Reply

  7. JungleTurtleKappa

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    On a similar note.

    My father and I went shopping at Belles for kitchen supplies recently. At checkout the cashier asked for his phone number, so he gave her some random phone number I’d never heard before. She then asks “are you Robert?” (My dad is not Robert), a d he responds with “Sure I’ll be Robert today!”. She then tells us that there are a couple dozen names associated with that phone number. He says “you know why, it’s because that’s the number for Frost banks time and temperature line”. The look of realization on her face after she realized she’d probably been played a couple times by other people doing that was hilarious.

    Reply

  8. AusGeno

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Credit or Savings?

    More like Spendings hur hur…

    Reply

  9. presidium

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Second place: “I didn’t see a price tag on it, so that must mean it’s free.”

    Reply

  10. dnmSeaDragon

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Also, “The winning lottery ticket”. Yes, cause if I could do that I would be working here selling it to you.

    Reply

  11. Insecure_potato

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    That brings the total to a million dollars and 30 cents , have a fucking great day.

    Reply

  12. vitium

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Are those two pics of the same kid years apart? Or just two randos looking similar? … Or, is it one kid making the face of the picture of the other kid, in jest?

    Reply

  13. Mr_Abe_Froman

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “Sorry, just sold out”

    Reply

  14. somuchdanger

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    I make all these terrible jokes. I just want to say I’m sorry . . .

    If it’s any consolation, it’s only because I so rarely actually speak with anyone outside the house, so the jokes only get made maybe 2-3 times per year?

    Reply

  15. thirdageofmen

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    when i go to the retail i always say funny things i have a gift and i want to share

    Reply

  16. SilverbackRekt

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “Hi, I forgot my glasses can you find this screw for me?”

    Reply

  17. Sharkology

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    r/comedycemetery

    Reply

  18. the1ine

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    *Me*: “Was everything okay with your meal?”

    *Customer with an empty plate sitting back and rubbing his belly*: “No it was awful” 😀

    Reply

  19. kayjay25

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Next time a customer says that just yell, “Repooooost!!!!!”

    Reply

  20. JamjarxD

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Feel old yet?

    Reply

  21. Kl3ini

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Inbefore he points a gun at you and yells “Give it to me”

    Reply

  22. suds171

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “It’s Free Real Estate”

    Reply

  23. KermitTheFork

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Who is this poor kid?

    Reply

  24. [deleted]

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    [deleted]

    Reply

  25. eldosoa

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Kid’s still got it. I’m surprised.

    Reply

  26. oxymoronisanoxymoron

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Jesus fuck I don’t miss retail.

    Reply

  27. illpicklater

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “Sir, if I had that I wouldn’t be here.”

    Reply

  28. Hurdy--gurdy

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Me (dentist): do you have any allergies?

    Patient: yeah, dentists

    Reply

  29. redbonedit

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    I for one love the customer who walks up, on the phone, doesn’t say shit, hands me their item, I say how much, they pay with card, don’t want receipts, gets the fuck out.

    Now, I am that customer. I also shop Amazon prime because fuck lines and fuck other customers who have to talk to the check out person wasting God damn time.

    Reply

  30. FM-101

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “Oh i dont know if we have that much cash here, let me go check with the manager”

    **free 10 min break**

    Reply

  31. PeeJayx

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    I’ll never get some customers. Who are these people who come up to the counter, hand over their goods and say “you couldn’t give us a discount on these, could you?” then get annoyed when you say you can’t.

    I mean…what? When was the last time you went shopping where that was the norm? I scan the stuff, price pops up, end of story. This clearly ain’t a haggling situation.

    Reply

  32. scyth3s

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    My mom does this all the time. I fucking hate it and I don’t even work retail.

    Reply

  33. pretenda

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Is that baby Elon Musk? It must be baby Elon Musk. [Elon](https://i.imgur.com/LF4ACn1.jpg)

    Reply

  34. Zerotix

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    “I just pdinted that last night AHHYYUUK HYUK HYUK”

    Reply

  35. Miranda_Betzalel

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    My coworker tells this joke whenever I make a coffee run or bank deposit or something. I already get this stuff from the customers, dude, I don’t need it from you too.

    Reply

  36. I_SAY_FUCKED_UP_SHIT

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Quit looking like that and people will say smarter stuff.

    Reply

  37. Merismare

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    I always say something weird like “Yes please, a urinal cake.” Except I don’t say that one in particular because someone actually brought one and set it on my table at a bar.

    Reply

  38. [deleted]

    April 23, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    [deleted]

    Reply

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