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Proper Urinal Etiquette …assuming the door is on the right.

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Proper Urinal Etiquette …assuming the door is on the right.


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58 Comments

  1. Rachello7777

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    This is how I approach treadmills too.

    Reply

  2. Foudagh

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Why the hell is it from top to bottom ? who in earth does that.

    Reply

  3. biseln

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    r/dontdeadopeninside

    Reply

  4. AlastarYaboy

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    There was an old flash game about this very principal.

    On the stage when you put a 4, the correct answer was to click the door (leave the bathroom without peeing). Brilliant.

    Reply

  5. SummerMummer

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Hey, that supports my personal theory that the least used urinal in any restroom is the second from the door.

    Reply

  6. KentConnor

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    This is the first page of the bro code.

    Reply

  7. cgmacleo

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    You only need the last picture.

    Reply

  8. Novichoke

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    jeez, #1 has been peeing for a while now

    Reply

  9. evil_leaper

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    1-3-2 is max capacity, that’s when I head to the stall.

    Reply

  10. TheDevilsAdvokaat

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    It’s funny but like most men I never had to be taught urinal etiquette – you learn it gradually as you transition from boy to man because standing in the “wrong” place causes other men to become tense.

    If you don’t follow the etiquette, urine trouble.

    Reply

  11. spellred

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    A #2 should be taken care of in a proper toilet stall. Feces just clogs up a urinal, trust me!

    Reply

  12. DrummerSteve

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Agree, but can we as a society agree that EVERY urinal should have the little privacy wall?

    I was in a bathroom that had tile walls and no privacy walls, and I could see in the reflection in the tiles, that the guy next to me was checking out my junk. So, yeah… Privacy walls please.

    Reply

  13. somewhat_random

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    In the old Montreal forum (hockey arena) the mens room had a large circular urinal trough and everyone would face each other when pissing between periods. Seemed normal at the time…

    Reply

  14. BigHemi45

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    And don’t fucking talk to me while I’m taking a piss. Thank you.

    Reply

  15. mnemamorigon

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    And if you’re #4 it’s best to take #1’s spot once he’s left. Mid-stream of course.

    Reply

  16. bluey101

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Hmm, this looks like it could be an interesting mathematical sequence. Assuming two rules (each new number is placed as far away from other numbers as possible, and second, with lower priority, as far away from the door as possible) I wonder what the sequence would look like as you increase the number of urinals.
    We could call it the pissing sequence.

    Reply

  17. Semon-Demon

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Not denying the truth in this but why is it in r/funny?

    Reply

  18. Psionx0

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Jesus Christ just pick a urinal and do your business. No ones looking at your cock.

    Reply

  19. candytaco

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

  20. gdq0

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

  21. SJExit4

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    One of the guys I work with constantly takes the middle of 3 urinals. I’m a woman so i haven’t personally seen this, but I’ve heard the complaints from the men numerous times. To make it even worse, he’s always going – like 3 times an hour. I’ve gotta think that there must be something wrong with him.

    Reply

  22. Bigphatmatt

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    I regularly violate the man rules and go for the urinal with the least amount of cock dribbles on the ground. Better aim and dribble containment should definitely be a higher priority in the man code

    Reply

  23. GroseJoy2theWorld

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    I love the Constance of “1”, dude has a shy bladder.

    Reply

  24. multapaucis_invicta

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    No, in this situation 4 pees on the wall equal distance away from all occupied urinals…

    Reply

  25. Fecalunderubush

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    You’re excluding the stalls which one with common courtesy will use before using urinal 4 and 5

    Reply

  26. DJFloorPancake

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Fucking first world problems in the comments.

    Reply

  27. MIDInub

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    i’m confused why is there 6 pictures when 2 is enough

    Reply

  28. Hoffmeister25

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    It’s honestly pretty fucking embarrassing how many people in this thread care so deeply about this. It’s a fucking receptacle for your piss. I get being weirded out by someone choosing the urinal right next to you in an otherwise empty bathroom, but past that? Just pick a urinal and take a piss. The whole thing takes one minute, tops, and then the whole situation is over.

    Like, I’m stunned by the people saying “no way I’d use 4 or 5, bro, I’m going to the stall.” Is this really that big a deal to you? Standing next to one or two strangers for a minute, to do something that every human does? Caring about any of this stuff is totally alien to me.

    Reply

  29. sdf9235

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    The 6th picture is the only one you need to describe this. The first 5 are redundant

    Reply

  30. schpooples

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    /r/dontdeadopeninside

    Reply

  31. Intrusting

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Proper urinal etiquette is much simpler. Don’t go directly next to someone if you don’t have to. Or even simpler don’t stare at other guys cocks

    Reply

  32. tsuggitt

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    I disagree. 4 should go between 3 and 2. 1 should not be punished for getting to the bathroom before 2 and 3.

    Reply

  33. Akilou

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Only the last picture is necessary

    Reply

  34. DirtTrackThunder

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Good but there are a couple of corrections to make. After [1 3 2] you pretend to fix your hair in the mirror/preemptively wash your hands and wait for space to open up. [143 2] is simply unacceptable. [14352] is only acceptable at stadiums, concerts, and other large scale events.

    Reply

  35. ivnwng

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    r/dontdeadopeninside

    Reply

  36. scartica

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    I love peeing next to people. 1 next to 2. All day!! #iluvwhendeynodividers

    Reply

  37. kabukistar

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    What’s funny about this?

    Reply

  38. ShallNotBeInfringed1

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    The only thing that matters is no meat gazing and no direct eye contact.

    Reply

  39. DigNitty

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

  40. yuks_and_dolts

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Why is this so hard for people?

    Reply

  41. SwxgFxg

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    It’s highly coincidental that 5 people show up almost right after each other. By the time that 4 or 5 shows up 1 should be done or almost done.

    Also I think just waiting until 2 more of them are finished before stepping in is more *etiquetty* unless of course, you have to take a leak VERY BAD

    Reply

  42. R9J4B

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    What if it’s the piss trough style of urinal?

    Reply

  43. scurvydog-uldum

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Wrong, wrong, wrong.

    The door is on the right, so the right-hand urinal is the one drunks who really really have to go and can’t control themselves will use. It’s most likely to have a puddle.

    Pisser #2 goes to the center urinal. #3 checks the floor by the rightmost urinal and goes between #1 and #2 is there’s a puddle on the right.

    Reply

  44. KlopsbergerKoenig

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    4 is wrong

    Reply

  45. ANGLVD3TH

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    I have a crisis with 3 and one is mini. I don’t know about most people, but I hate using the mini. So if it’s empty, I’ll use the middle, so there is no choice between the height and proximity, there is only height.

    Reply

  46. AccordionORama

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    1-2. “Does this look infected?”

    Reply

  47. DrQuantumInfinity

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    So what’s the sequence for a bathroom with 4 urinals?

    Reply

  48. Jman0303

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    This works until #1 has a lake of urine under it. Which is the case in every bathroom containing 5 urinals (arenas, airports, etc.)

    Reply

  49. jlhendo

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    This doesn’t account for the one of the end being mini-urinal, which it often is. What is the proper ettiquette when one of those is present, because as a taller guy who prefers avoiding it for aiming reasons (and to keep it open for younger kids and little people who may need it), it usually throws the whole thing off.

    Reply

  50. TrulySleekZ

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Alright, but what happens when 2 is one of those lower urinals for kids? Do you still use that or shift over the then next on the left?

    Reply

  51. PsychoZach426

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    The order of these panels infuriates me. Go left to right damn it!

    Reply

  52. doogiedc

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    This etiquette was clearly established in 2006 on youtube.

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw)

    Reply

  53. HumaDracobane

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    The Law is the Law.

    Reply

  54. gevetyn

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    Anyone else count them to the beat of Mambo No. 5?

    Reply

  55. 512damon

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    what if #1 is kiddie height?

    Reply

  56. Dial-1-For-Spanglish

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    I go straight for the middle stall.

    Reply

  57. Mangoconut

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

    AND DONT TALK

    Reply

  58. Anonymous

    April 26, 2018 at 3:38 am

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