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Michael Bay: The Wonder Years

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Michael Bay: The Wonder Years




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  1. RamsesThePigeon

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    FADE IN:

    EXT. A SNOW-COVERED PLAIN – DAY

    *Three ARMY MANS trudge through the snow. Their knuckles are white from tightly clutching their weapons.*

    **ARMY MAN #2:** Hey, Lieutenant?
    **ARMY MAN #1:** What’s up?
    **ARMY MAN #2:** Shouldn’t we be “Army Men?”
    **ARMY MAN #3:** You’re not still on about that, are you?

    *The first Army Man turns around, stopping the small patrol in its tracks.*

    **ARMY MAN #1:** Would you two care to clue me in on the conversation?

    *The second Army Man looks slightly uncomfortable.*

    **ARMY MAN #2:** Just that… well, “Army Mans” seems like incorrect grammar. We should be “Army Men.”
    **ARMY MAN #1:** Are you a writer, soldier?
    **ARMY MAN #2:** No…
    **ARMY MAN #1:** What are you, then?
    **ARMY MAN #2:** I’m… an Army Man.
    **ARMY MAN #1:** And if there were two of you, you’d be…?
    **ARMY MAN #2:** … Army Mans.

    *A sudden roar yanks everyone’s attention away from the truly riveting conversation. A DINOSAUR charges into view. The Army Mans raise their weapons.*

    **ARMY MAN #1:** This is it, boys! Aim for the eyes!
    **DINOSAUR:** Halt in your offense, green humans! I approach in peace!

    *The Army Mans lower their weapons.*

    **ARMY MAN #1:** State your intentions, large lizard.
    **DINOSAUR:** Technically, I’m not a lizard, despite the Latin translation of “dinosaur.”
    **ARMY MAN #1:** You and this idiot should start a club.

    *The first Army Man nudges the second Army Man in the ribs.*

    **DINOSAUR:** There is little time for such things at the moment. A terrible fate awaits us all if we do not make haste to safety.
    **ARMY MAN #1:** (*Skeptically*) What terrible fate might that be? All there is out here is snow.
    **DINOSAUR:** Alas! It comes now! Flee, apes, *flee!*
    **ARMY MAN #3:** What are you…

    *A pulsing, chaotic column of bright yellow energy descends from the sky, striking the snow and sending the third Army Man flying.*

    **ARMY MAN #2:** (*Alarmed*) What is that thing?!
    **DINOSAUR:** The Coil of Destruction!

    *The Coil of Destruction continues to bolt through the air, flickering up and down at a speed that is seemingly impossible. It strikes the other Army Mans, then the dinosaur, leaving them all prone on the ground.*

    **ARMY MAN #1:** (*Weakly*) It’s… insane. We… need…

    *Before he can finish speaking, the first Army Man passes out.*

    **DINOSAUR:** (*Weakly*) Hold… on… friends. Help… is… coming…

    FADE TO:

    OPENING CREDITS

    “ARMY MANS AND DINOSAURS VERSUS THE COIL OF DESTRUCTION AND ALSO SKELETOR”

    Reply

  2. SETHONM3TH

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    He has the look on his face of a virtuoso practicing at the peak of his craft. Bravo.

    Reply

  3. Inous

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    I’ve spotted the Mormons…

    Reply

  4. fdzman

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    A young Michael Bay would’ve flipped the tables and chairs too.

    Reply

  5. StepBackLetGo

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    jeez he really Came Out Swinging there

    Reply

  6. PM_ME_CLASSIC_VANS

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    That anger…pent up rage…lol

    I hate weddings too…

    Reply

  7. KneelBeforeGlob

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Oh my goodness I miss doing stuff like this as a kid at shindigs and get togethers.

    Reply

  8. Jayoheazy

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Hey, at least he ain’t on an iPad. That’s some good ol’ fashion fuckin shit up with dinosaurs

    Reply

  9. IgoRStripes

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    The slinky [he wishes it was.](https://youtu.be/c7gxStnBfbg?t=3)

    Reply

  10. NvKKcL

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    This is a boy before he gets told how to act. DESTROY EVERYTHING

    Reply

  11. esfraritagrivrit

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    /u/stabbot

    Reply

  12. tjverras89

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Hahahaha

    Reply

  13. austinnm66

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    That couldn’t be Michael Bay; he didn’t immediately start jerking himself off to pictures of the US military.

    Reply

  14. MyTwoCentsJoji

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    [Smas de beetuls, smash em](https://youtu.be/iGgXy8HIrhk)

    Reply

  15. riseagainstTO09

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Fuck him up Alf!!

    Reply

  16. Dothwile

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Man I wish I could do this sort of stuff in public, as a kid its kind of adorable if I were to people would give me funny looks.

    Reply

  17. r278na

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    r/michaelbaygifs except no added special effect explosions, someone please fix!

    Reply

  18. RascalLouise

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Just add in a Linkin Park soundtrack and you’re good to go

    Reply

  19. jaejae26

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Toxic masculinity and male rage is present in early age.

    JK.

    Reply

  20. BIazingBadger11

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Don’t you mean post-Dora the Explorer years.

    Reply

  21. Kakatucarra

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    This is were Jurassic Park meats saving private Ryan

    Reply

  22. HyperHypnos

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Whoa that kid’s possessed!

    Reply

  23. oodelay

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    And to think I almost went to bed without seeing this.

    Reply

  24. John_-_Galt

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Just amazing seeing ongoing news.

    Reply

  25. RaymondTerrific

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Someone make it look like 8mm and dub Joe Cocker over it.

    Reply

  26. Sleeper_Sree

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    This is how I SHAGG.

    Reply

  27. slimpivore

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Is this that new Geostorm movie?

    Reply

  28. BleuBrink

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    According to the Criterion essay on Michael Bay, as a kid he shot action scenes on 8mm using train sets.

    Reply

  29. SpanglishmcZales

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    This is now how I imagine the dinosaurs dying.

    Reply

  30. uhhuhnads

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    ZE VURLD VILL BE MINE!

    Reply

  31. ReMaxius

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    r/qualityzooms

    Reply

  32. Maaahgo

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Here we see what actually killed the dinosaurs… the slinky of death

    Reply

  33. ExiledSanity

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Was totally expecting Fred Savage with explosions

    Reply

  34. jpdidz

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    All I’m seeing is a clip from the latest Transformers film?

    Reply

  35. lukamic

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    What a little gremlin

    Reply

  36. juice-box

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    That is how the camera is positioned throughout the shot.

    Reply

  37. mxlplic4

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    What the hell is that? A plastic slinky!?!? Little savage….

    Reply

  38. MeatloafPopsicle

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    I don’t get it.

    Reply

  39. jameaney

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Post creep shots of kids for internet points never sits right with me. If it’s a parent I guess that’s their prerogative. If not it’s just weird no matter what they are doing.

    Reply

  40. McHRSN

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    No explosion?

    Reply

  41. tAc00o

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Multi-Million dollar budget. No lens flares though 🙁

    Reply

  42. TheLastMartini

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Haha i’m sorry but –> r/bettereveryloop

    Reply

  43. _righteoussideofhell

    October 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Savage!

    Reply

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