Home Life & People HGTV Stars Urges Others To Never Ask A Couple 'When Are You Going To Have A Baby?'

HGTV Stars Urges Others To Never Ask A Couple 'When Are You Going To Have A Baby?'

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Bringing a child into this world is miraculous and life changing. The joy of giving birth and nurturing a child knows no bounds. But there are a few people who might not have experienced this joy. What makes this worse is the constant nagging and endless questions that others put them through. Asking a couple when they will be having a baby can be a ruthless question. It may cause sadness and a sense of hopelessness among certain couples. Prying into a couple’s personal lives and pushing disappointment into their hearts will never help. Hopefully society can understand the basic space needed by couples and can let them decide when to become parents.

The cast of “Home Town” (a show which airs on HGTV) Ben and Erin Napier gave their fans a very surprising and sweet news last month. They said that they are going to be parents for the first time! Erin shared her excitement and concerns through the famous social media platform Instagram. While the excitement part is obvious, her fans were curious about her concerns. According to Erin the most dreaded question for any couple is: aren’t you planning for kids?

The questions from society put Erin and her husband through a lot of pressure as a couple. On October 30th she revealed in her Instagram post that for her and Ben, the journey of becoming parents was a difficult one. The constant and relentless enquiries by the society only managed to make the process more difficult.

She stated that the society should avoid the habit of asking questions. Although some people might have the right intentions behind their enquiries but the couples have to face a raw and awful feeling while coming up with the answers.
Her Instagram post was as follows:-

We’ve been getting so much attention surrounding the baby and it feels like the best time to offer a suggestion, coming from a place that hurt for a very long time and inspired by a post I read today by @real_mumma: please, please, please. Stop asking couples when they are going to have a baby. It’s always asked with the best intentions, but the raw, awful feeling of explaining never got easier. For me, pregnancy was my biggest fear and it felt insurmountable. It felt impossible. I would turn out the light at the end of every single day and the weight of hopelessness made me feel pathetic: “Another day has passed and I’m still not brave enough.” I’m one of the luckiest ones. For so many couples I’ve known, there have been years of trying for a baby that never comes. It’s heartbreaking for those couples and the question forces lies much of the time: “One day we’ll get around to it!” or “We’re just enjoying being the two of us!”

Let’s help by not asking that one question. Whenever the thought of a pregnant woman comes to our mind we associate an image of a glowing mother with a pretty smile on her face. Erin on the other hand opened her heart and said that for her pregnancy took the shape of her worst fear and she felt that she could never achieve it.

She wrote- “I would turn out the light at the end of every single day and the weight of hopelessness made me feel pathetic: ‘Another day has passed and I’m still not brave enough.’ Can you ever imagine that a woman is put through such a painstaking emotion at the end of each day?

When a couple is put through the questioning session by the society sometimes they end up inventing lies to satiate this unnecessary curiosity. The act of cheating puts these couples under a lot of pressure. The lies only end up making them feeling more guilty just because they could not satisfy the unnecessary standards set by society. On her Instagram post she wrote- “For so many couples I’ve known, there have been years of trying for a baby that never comes, It’s heartbreaking for those couples and the question forces lies much of the time: ‘One day we’ll get around to it!’ or ‘We’re just enjoying being the two of us!’ Let’s help by not asking that one question.”

The Real Mumma an online persona of Adele Barbaro a blogger provided the much needed inspiration and strength to Erin to open up in her social media post. The post which came out in October described in detail the emotions and ordeals Barbara went through while they she was scrutinized by her family and friends. The journey towards pregnancy is supposed to be a bed of flowers but due to society’s attacks this journey turned into a bed of thorns.

Barbara revealed the following in her blog- “They would tell me that I’m not going to be young forever or that my maternal clock was ticking, And believe me, I knew it. I just didn’t need to hear it from everyone else.” Erin has started her seventh month of pregnancy. She and Ben revealed that they are going to be gifted with a girl and that they plan to name it after Erin’s grandmother.

The HGTV star wrote on Instagram that since she announced her pregnancy she has received a lot of messages from her well wishers. She took the help of this post to spread a message of hope to those couples who might have faced the same ordeal that she and Ben went through.

She wrote “It’s been so good to hear how many of you found my fear relatable and I’ve been praying that our story will be a comfort to someone in my same shoes.” With the star opening up about her painful journey towards becoming a mother hopefully society can learn a lesson or two from this.

Share this story and remind others to be sensitive about this personal subject.

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