Home Entertainment Jokes Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter

50 second read
28
0
5

Choose your fighter


AliDropship is the best solution for drop shipping
Load More Related Articles
Load More By plugeldadmin
Load More In Jokes

28 Comments

  1. buttspiefromgoatmom

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Bush Goliath!!! I choose you!

    Reply

  2. metyuadem

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    I wanna watch Big Boy breed Bradley raw.

    Reply

  3. mika6523

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Bradley gots sass, so I choose Bradley

    Reply

  4. tayman12

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    why do they all have micropenis

    Reply

  5. DanLePro

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Bradley seems like a nice guy, he is the only heirloom tomato fighter so he’s unique and stands out. My man

    Reply

  6. zkgkilla

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    I always like a big boy

    Reply

  7. EBDBBNBBLT

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

  8. evil_leaper

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Once dated a girl with a bush goliath, I wouldn’t go down on her so she went up on me. It was horrifying.

    Reply

  9. VolpeOfficial

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Me me Big Boy

    Reply

  10. keel_up

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Bradley lifts fake tomatoes.

    Reply

  11. randomcommentingacc

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    #bigboyalltheway

    Reply

  12. DownvoteDaemon

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    /r/swoleacceptance

    Reply

  13. jhsdcsjdcvbdj

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    i choose Weed-Whacker.

    Reply

  14. psxpetey

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Bush master? Lol don’t hey think these names through beef master ? Isn’t it a plant

    Reply

  15. Joefalcon13

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Bush goliath is what my ex called me. She didn’t like to groom.

    Reply

  16. thenickelfish

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    I’m more a cloaca man, myself. I can appreciate the versitility.

    Reply

  17. mrtoycar

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    B I G B O I

    Reply

  18. ThingsGetWierd

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    “But I don’t want to play as Bradley”

    Reply

  19. iwanturmoney

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Sussan Strong?

    Reply

  20. ShaqFuGrandMaster

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    lol the bush goliath looks like swamp thing

    Reply

  21. Salty-Snack

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    These could totally be marijuana strain names

    Reply

  22. Tivia

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Wow, early monday morning and we are starting the “Creepy shit on the internet” factor out at a 10 eh?

    Reply

  23. Ionized052

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    r/bossfight

    Reply

  24. Ric373

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Beefmaster is one of butters’ personas.

    Everyone knows it’s Butters!

    Reply

  25. kyithios

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Fuhrer King Bradley tomato.

    Reply

  26. rampion

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

  27. Mrinvent0r

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Repost

    Reply

  28. DropTheBombuMan

    April 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Doofenshmirtz suffered through a comically exaggerated neglectful, even abusive, claimed terrible childhood that left him scarred for the rest of his life. His parents were mentally abusive and ignored him, briefly disowned him, forced him to wear dresses or act as a lawn gnome, and frequently restricted him from doing even the smallest things. He also had to deal with many bullies, had no real friends, except for a balloon with a face painted on it, had issues with his body (a high squeaky voice and inability to grow facial hair), and generally failed embarrassingly at nearly everything he attempted. (The exceptions being cup stacking and, for a short time, shadow puppetry). His record in romance was equally dismal and almost always ended up with him being broken-hearted. Because of this, he built a robot to destroy love, which landed in the hands of Phineas and Ferb (“What Do It Do?”). Somehow he managed to woo and win the hand of Charlene and had one daughter with her before it fell apart and they divorced. Due to the cumulative weight of all these hardships he turned to evil and constantly attempts to seek vaguely directed vengeance with odd items he purchased off the Internet.

    Since the beginning of his life, Heinz never had a wonderful or even “normal” life. He had mentally abusive parents who never cared about him or even noted possible knowledge of his existence. When Doofenshmirtz was born, neither of his parents “bothered to show up”. He celebrated every birthday after that alone, throwing himself surprise parties at places like Gunther Goat Cheese’s. When he did have a birthday cake, it was always eaten by Doonkelberry Bats (“Raging Bully”, Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension). At one time he was actually disowned by his parents, forcing him to live with ocelots. Needing money, he got a job at a carnival as the ball you throw at the target at the dunk tank. At the same time, for a reason that Heinz did not want to relate, he emanated a smell of pork so strong that no one would come near him. So he drew a face on a balloon and named it “Balloony,” spraying it with long-lasting spray (“The Chronicles of Meap”, Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension).

    Eventually, he returned to his normal family. His father was so poor that his beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. While other people were allowed to relax, he was forced to be the family’s lawn gnome all day and night without being allowed to move in the slightest for any reason even to eat or sleep. At night his only companions were the moon, Balloony, and his neighbor Kenny. During one night, Balloony flew off, and Heinz could not retrieve him (“Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror,” “The Chronicles of Meap”, Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension).

    In his father’s heart, he was replaced by a spitzenhound named Only Son that his father won in a contest of “Poke the Goozim with a Stick”. Even though Only Son was an award-winning dog that brought his father fame and fortune, and the family should have been able to buy back the lawn gnome, Heinz was still forced to be the lawn gnome. This appears to be the source of Doofenshmirtz’s fragile self-esteem (“Got Game?”).

    While his parents awaited their new baby, who they believed to be a girl, they knitted dozens of dresses for their new baby. But their baby was born a boy and was named Roger. Doofenshmirtz was forced to wear the old dresses due to lack of cloth, causing him to be constantly made fun of by his schoolmates, and on top of that, Roger was now favored by Heinz’s mother for being a “goody-two shoes” (“Gaming the System,” “Tree to Get Ready”, Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension).

    Roger as well was favored by his mother for his amazing abilities in kickball, a skill in which Heinz was sorely lacking in. Heinz felt even more shunned because of this. He tried to play several sports to impress his mother, but failed at all of them. In grade school, for example, he flunked jungle gym. Heinz was still not completely forgotten, however, it seemed like he was only ever acknowledged so he could be mentally abused more. His mother for example wouldn’t let him into public pools, possibly stemming from Heinz’s embarrassing failure to perform the high-dive as a rite of manhood (“Thaddeus and Thor,” “De Plane! De Plane!” “Split Personality” Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension). Then his parents wouldn’t let him watch music videos as a child (“Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown”).

    He has been bullied throughout his life by Boris, starting when they were both in Drusselstein. Boris constantly kicked sand in Doofenshmritz’s face even in the most unexpected places, so much so that even on days where Boris didn’t, Doofenshmirtz still found no peace because he was always expecting Boris to show up (“The Flying Fishmonger”).

    He was also tormented by a local girl named Grulinda, who had a habit of dumping a bucket of water on Doofenshmirtz. Unknown to Heinz, this was rooted in Grulinda’s feelings for him, so he assumed she was yet another bully and, similar to his relationship with Boris, held a grudge against her that lasted until adulthood. (“Imperfect Storm”)

    Growing up, he tried his hand at magic. He got a gig, but hadn’t quite perfected his act yet. When he tried to pull Bobo the Rabbit out of his hat, there was a skunk instead. He was quite upset about this and gave up magic until well into his adulthood. But at that point he actually found Bobo (“Leave the Busting to Us!”).

    Heinz entered in his first science fair with his first “Inator” (Doofenshmirtz wasn’t very creative with names yet), a working laser cannon. He was about to win, but for some reason lost to a baking soda volcano. The next year, he made an “Even-Bigger-Inator” but lost again to a baking soda volcano (“Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)”).

    Throughout his youth, he was told he couldn’t “make mountains out of molehills” even when the situation was serious, such as burning down his building, which led him to do so literally. He carried this on to his adulthood (“At the Car Wash”). He has also always had a high squeaky-sounding voice that he strongly dislikes even to this day (“Jerk De Soleil”).

    Doofenshmirtz’s childhood did not put particular emphasis on Christmas as he says that he “didn’t love Christmas but he didn’t hate it either” (“Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!”).

    He once went to a camp and was attacked by bees. He received one sting and numerous injuries due to falling from a hill while running from said bees. The event also left a hydrant in his knee, which due to being to close to his arteries, cannot be surgically removed. This event would later make Heinz overprotective of his daughter when she camped with her friends as a teenager (“Skiddley Whiffers”).

    Fuck his life was depressing

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

Told my dog, Ashe, to sit on the log and this is what I got

Told my dog, Ashe, to sit on the log and this is what I got …